Compassionate Resilience.

This morning my alarm went off at 7am.
As it woke me my brain was already brimming with worry.
Because today I will be marching with my fellow activists
to demand a stronger agreement at COP21
and also to follow New York state in taking Exxon to trial
for lying and knowingly putting the Earth at risk.

I fell asleep thinking about the island nations.
Cultures I will never experience myself
tribes of unique humans, physically separated
from the rest of the globe.
I suddenly see how landlocked I truly am.
Living in this South Western city,
I will hardly experience the truest damages of climate change.
Yes my desert summers are increasingly scorching.
And as winter snowfall decreases, so does out water supply.
But we are urban dwellers, rich in wealth and amenities.
My studies have not led me to worry for my people to adapt
when the world rises a full 2 degrees C.

Today I wake in worry for the small islands.
Micronesia, the Maldives, Fiji...
Tropical paradises beaming with life and light.
Places where ancient cultures live in modernity.
Relationships with Gaia are pure and practices.
These nations are harming nobody,
these nations are living vibrant, healthy human lives.

Unfortunately, our excess is putting that health at stake.
Slowly, the hot oceans liquefy even the biggest glaciers.
Ocean tides are working their way in.
In towards the village, flooding the rich cropland.
Worsening every year, just like the heat in my deserts.
The high-water overflow comes back each season
with more vengeance, eating away at the smallest islands.
How can humans adapt to their entire world's under water?

Well here's the reality; some nations do, some don't.
Some nations care, some turn their heads.
I see this collective of ignorant bystanders.
A wall of backs on those who need it most.
Those we have harmed with our capitalist way of life.
My empathetic heart is under immense weight.
As my alarm chimed at 7am,
I was flooded with tears in a moments time.

This emotional outbreak was unlike anything regular.
The tears were not for the self or the ego, not even the soul.
These were the most selfless tears I've ever experienced.
The heaviness on my heart was for all those we have turned our backs on.
Every homeless man I didn't give money to.
Every country I ignorantly traveled through for materialist purposes.
The communities that have never seen a factory, living the externalities.
I'm seeing people of all races, all classes and cultures.
We have failed each other, and my heart has fallen under the pressure.

I allow myself to experience the first true breakdown as an environmentalist.
Everything else fell away and pure compassionate sadness for Gaia took me down.
I sat with the feelings and felt a cynical push to keep doing what I think is right.
I put on my red leggings, layers of coats, gloves, hat.
Pulled out my #Justice poster and flattened it down with my hands.
This is my movement, this is my calling, my sadness cannot deter me.

I walked out the door just around sunrise to pick up my baby sister
and march with the small but compassionate crown of environmental activists
in my great town of Salt Lake City.
To every one that was there for justice today, I so humbly and admirably thank you.
These issues are not easy, these issues are not happy.
But marching with a team of those who DIDN'T turn their backs on humanity,
That is a reason to march forth and be happy. We are a small family in a big movement.
And we shall overcome.

My baby sister at her first protest!!

Detaching: Consumerism.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

(I'm thankful for my Kaya Dog)

May it have been filled with gratitude, 

Good food and especially-
Prayers for our native people.
That some day, their land will be back
in their hands. Rightfully.

The full moon made it extra special.
My family had more words of love,
tears of joy and hugs of gratitude
under the intensity of the bright luna
in gemini reflecting off the crystal white snow.

I felt immensely blessed.

And now the holidays are here.
A season of giving.
Black Friday shopping
deals deals deals
shop shop shop
You MUST buy gifts for every one you know.
We do this every year.
Every winter we break into a frenzy of
shopping, cooking, greeting, traveling, spending, eating.
Only to feel stressed, bloated and broke by the New Year.

Can we make this year different?
May we detach ourselves from consumerism?
Our consciousness can rise above the corporate holiday.
And give from a place of complete compassion.

Photo borrowed from my favorite Orgonite crafter: @hoodxhippie

Try and narrow your list of who to
find the perfect gifts for.
When looking for those gifts;
avoid the Walmart, the Nordstrom, the Amazon.com.
This is a chance to explore your local shops and crafters.

Find a book for your Dad at the tiny used book store.
Vintage earrings for your sister are waiting in an antique shop.
Maybe your best friend wants an old record thats hidden downtown.
A precious crystal from your local spiritual store is perfect for your yoga teacher.

And can we take it further away from just purchased goods?
Knit a scarf, bead a bracelet, bake brownies, paint something.
I've always thought the best gifts are ones that come from the heart,
something crafted by the hands and warmed by the soul.

What better of a gift to receive this holiday season?

What kind of non material gifts can we give this season?
Let us fill our hearts with unconditional love.
Be inspired to give more to those truly in need.
Smile at the man wearing rags who says hello with a smile.

Ask him what he needs this holiday season.
Focus on those less fortunate than thou.

Give your family and friends undivided attention all winter.
Turn off TVs, put away phones, leave your car in the garage.
Share delicious organic foods, home baked goods, fancy red wines.
Smudge your home and welcome all the people that engage energies.
Cleanse your aura with the spirit of the holiday.

That spirit is one of giving, loving and gratitude.
Unconditional, everlasting, equanimity, eternal life.
Dive within yourself, look at what is inside.
Find solace in your sacred heart temple and make it shine.
Shine that light and radiate from within.
This is the time of winter solstice.
Others will need your warmth.

Just for fun: I decided to share some of my favorite crafters in the U.S. 

I follow these artists on Instagram and believe that they embody all that is good when our market is only between the creator and the buyer. While I always choose local before ordering online, I think the next best step is supporting a small artist making one of a kind masterpieces for all of us. 

Beautiful Orgonite creation from @hoodxhippie
(Based in Mississippi)



Stunning Malas from @withgoodintention
(Based in Philadelphia)

Rad urban-artsy t-shirts and hoodies from @iamsloth
(Based in Arizona)

My FAV silversmith on Insta: @sacred.geometry_
(Based in Sonoma County, Cali)

Looking for a Light.

Artist: Unknown 

How do we go on with hope in the wakes of tragedy

after tragedy… after tragedy… 

fear is stirring in our country

bombs dropping in others. 

A mass exodus of innocent families

with nowhere to go

no country to call their own

for their own place

is no longer safe. 

Gaia is experiencing great pains.

She has seen these pains before. 

As long as humans have been on this earth

there has been evil between us. 

An evil so deep in our nature that we

cannot see it coming.
That evil brings tragedy. 

This has happened before.

We’ve been through this before. 

Earth is aching across all the crusts.

Overpopulous humans 

causing gates to burst

but there’s no longer room to welcome

those in need

too many people

too many people

How can I continue about my day, 

fighting for social justice

climate justice

humanity 

When everything seems to be falling apart. 

How can I stay hopeful when the news is so hopeless?

Look for the light. 

I think about the the activists

from Martin Luther King Jr. to Tim Dechristopher. 

Giving their lives to not only the fight for a better world

but also, to fight for hope. 

Hope for the human race. 

I begin to see the light...

I look for the good in all

I pray for the good in all

Give thanks to all that is good
and you will see that good 

is abundant.

I notice it in the kid who always bikes to class. 

I look for it in my professors who have been creating change for decades. 

I see organic farmers who used their degrees to promote food justice. 

Every marching activist on the street.
Every compassionate vegan, animal rescuer, nature therapists and wildlife ecologist.

Each yogi, sikh, buddhist or krishna meditating for a better world. 

The religious leaders that are preaching forgiveness.
The politicians that are bringing change to their countries

and the rebels risking their lives for justice.  

All the humans 

on this Earth 

that love this planet 

and desire a healthful Gaia. 

The good is abundant. 

You know

that we are all one. 

Right?

We are the largest global movement.
In history. 

Each story of injustice 

pushes this movement

making it stronger.
But only as we connect ourselves as one,

can we be victorious. 

Can we rise up like a giant wave

deep blue wall of water instenifying with might.

Crashing down on all patriarchs. 

flooding the system with ethics of Gaia's love. 

Washing away all the isn't right. 

Leaving but a small river of compassion

that flows through every organization. 

Tributaries will feed the communities 

and that glowing light of the heart

will exist in everybody. 

I will forever meditate 

on a future that is radiant

with the light of every heart

reflecting off the moon and 

glistening like a crystal in sunlight. 

Our children will be raised in that light. 

We will give them a better world. 

They will know the spirit of Gaia. 

They will meditate on her love 

and give thanks up to the universe. 

Art by Icy &Sot

...and her kingdom went on forever and ever. 

The New Moon enters Scorpio

Art by Kagaya

The new moon brings us a special time.
Astrologers say that a new moon in Scorpio
creates a new beginning for all of us.
Now is the time to create a more positive life,
a time to sit and communicate
with those around you.
So that we may step into
our purest and highest selves.

I've never been as excited for a new moon
As I was during my ritual last night.
I was not only focused on my own growth
but also the growth of our nations
thriving on this Earth.
I feel that good things have already began
to push positively on our world.

Barack Obama finally rejected
a detrimental, earth destroying pipeline.
Oil drillers pulled out of Alberta, Canada.
Activists pushed more drillers out of the NorthWest.
New York is suing Exxon for fucking up the Earth.
Like hell yes.

My hopefulness is fueled.
We are a part of a bigger movement.
A global revolution.
Where crude oil and cruel wealth
are no longer sensationalized.
Where living simply and loving the Earth
is not just trendy but ethically moral.

Now is the time for the human race
to reveal our truest selves, our highest beings.
We are unlocking our potential as renegades.
To never give up the good fight.
To remember how much we have overcome.
And not forget what matters most:
Keeping this Earth a habitable planet. 

Finding Nature

Today the cards told me to spend time in nature. 

It's been dark and cold outside as of late. 

Another extreme winter is on its way into town. 

After about six hours in doors staring at a computer screen, 

crafting maps of the Utah valley, I needed some serious Gaia time. 

I picked up my dog and head up my favorite canyon, Millcreek. 

I plan to cruise up to a little pull off near the creek.
I am stopped early by the winter gates.
Too cold to enter.
Hmm.
I suppose we will park and explore.

I tend to stay along the river's path,
which unfortunately keeps us close to the road.
Access is continuously restricted during cold months.
My "wilderness playground" feels oppressive.

I perch with my journal, hot tea and a small toke
on a flat granite stone at the edge of the brook.
Kaya the dog runs back and forth back and forth
intrigue in her eye and excitement in her lungs.
She repetitively realizes how cold the water is.
Her white paws have turned a deep brown already.
I love watching her, my domestic pet in the thrills of "nature".
She gets tired and leans her body on my lap and turns her wild hazel eyes deep into mine.
Then she darts away to chase a bird, crashing into delicate fallen branches.
Being alone with her up here is as close to nature as I will get today.

There was a car parked on the street
that I could see it from my niche.
A cop car drove past instilling anxiety.
Kaya barked at hikers with their children.

I picked up the leash and decided to head in further.
I came upon a rock formation under a tree.
An oval shape was filled with big stones.
One read "King, your Momma misses you"
I looked up and Kaya was sniffing at a silver bowl
nailed into the tree that read "King."
I could not help but assume there was a dead body beneath these rocks.
The clouds darkened and the wind howled.
My heart thumped hard and I whistled at Kaya to move on.

I can see a stick along my made up path with a ribbon tied to it
I get closer and read "Do Not Disturb" on the piece of wood.
Thump. Thump. 
Kaya goes running up the side of the canyon to conquer some animal.
She is running up a steep slope that leads to another trail.
 I chase her up, pulling rocks dirt out of the mountain side
with my big trekking boots. Creating tiny landslides.

We get to the top and find but a neatly paved road.
No special look out. Nothing neat.
We look at each other with mere defeat in our eyes.
But there is solitude. We're sure far from the canyon road.
There's no one around.
Is this what nature feels like? Have I found what I need?

I retrieve my journal and write some prose.
The wind is blowing harder up here.
I thick grey color is moving over our heads.
Kaya stares at me nervously.
Leaves fly all around us.
An old tree creaks above me, so loud like it could snap any moment.
I look around me and realize everything is dead.
Oh what a sublime form of beauty.
Radiant colors of dead leaves decorate the landscape.
I suddenly feel the humbling fear
that fall weather could destroy us in moments up here.
Yes this is what nature feels like.

Kaya stands at the edge of the switch back
cocks her head back at me.
Her eyes beg to return to safer ground.
I must let her intuition lead me.
She dives off the edge and goes bolting down the hill.
I, on the other hand slide down on my shoes nervously.
Tearing up the Earth beneath by boots. It's steep.
Kay runs back up and barks at me aggressively.
I don't know why. I feel nervous.
She continues to bark as I slide my way down.

Me and Kaya. Her level of worry is very obvious.
This was her face in every snapshot.

I put her on the leash and she pulls me very quickly back to the car.
I can see a heavy cloud of peril heading up the v shaped canyon.
I want to stay and experience the storm
but my companion is in complete peril.
I turn up the car heaters and we cruise back down
the beautiful curving autumn speckled road.
Wind pushes my boxy car as thick rain drops splatter the windshield.

I finally begin to put it together.
This short lived afternoon experience-
that was nature.
Hearing the water run,
attempting to communicate with a border collie,
feeling the rumbling fear of a rolling storm.
I muddied my boots,
I sat in my own peaceful silence
appreciating the beauty
in all the decay around me.

Just a November afternoon in Millcreek canyon.
My land. My home. My semi wild semi nature place.

-Jane.

I propose a new religion.

No, religion is not the right word.
This is not about a scripture and this is not about church.
You aren't in or out, you cannot be damned or sainted.
But you can live with us, peacefully on planet Earth.

I propose a practice.
Where daily and life decisions are made upon one basis:
What is best for the Earth around me?
What will strengthen Gaia rather than further our damage?
This is a practice of mindfulness.

This mindfulness may lead to gardening.
You may decide to eat less meat.
You may become a recycling hero.
You may become a bike-to-worker.
You may join thousands of activists marching on capital hill.

But can we bring that practice deeper?

We must reveal to ourselves the spirit of the universe.
To bring balance between the wild and the humane.
We must meditate and look within us, the human race.
Look into our hearts for compassion.
And shed the rough skin that society has given us.
Only then may we find the spirit.
Right there within ourselves.

No western religion has found God as the essence of the universe.

So I create my own.
I pray to her every morning and night.
Meditate in her sanctuary.
Undulate in her atmosphere.
I give my heart out to Gaia and the spirit of the universe,
Every day that I dwell in this paradise.

"Progress of the Soul" by Alex Gray

And her kingdom
Will have no end...

The Gaia Hypothesis: The Planet is Alive!

Art by Josephine Wall

Mother Earth.

The Blue Planet. 
Home to 7 Billion Humans. 8 Billion Wild Species. 
Where rivers carve through rising mountains. 
With a sun that sets on dazzling oceans with salty breezes. 
Colors change, bushes bloom, food grows on trees. 
The Earth is a living system. 


Just like one small single celled organism thrives off all its working parts,
planet Earth thrives off each snowstorm, each school of fish and every herb that grows from the crust. 
This planet is so in tune with it's own processes that one coyote cannot make a kill with out an earthworm feeling the impact. A man cannot pick a flower with out spoiling a spider's breakfast. 
And so on. 
You see, we are all interwoven every day. 

Like one giant organism that we call: Gaia. 

Gaia is the organism. She is the mother. She is the goddess.
She was made by the spirit of the universe. Just like us. 
It's in the breeze. In the sun's golden light. In the arms of a loved one. 
You can hear it in music. Taste it in food. Feel it in laughter. 
The spirit is all around us. Like star dust. 

And yet,
She is under siege. 
By her own creations. 
Those 7 billion humans. 
Dominating the land and sea. 
Carbon fills her hydrosphere. 
She is having trouble breathing. 
She thrashes for help and Tsunamis tear down islands.
Her skin is dry and as she scratches she sets fire to forests that were once stolen from her. 
She watches her sea creatures shatter under waves as she tries desperately to clean her oceans. 

She will never quit. 
She will never die. 
She is the most resilient kind in this universe. 

...And she believes in us. 
We can find compassion for her. 
We can give thanks to her, rise her up. 
We can cherish this worldly magic and celebrate. 
We can live every day to be closer to her. 
We can live every day to save her. 

And you know what? 
Momma Gaia can be very forgiving.